What Would Michael Do?

Things are rough around here.  Took what’s-his-face to get his bone marrow biopsy and other tests done today and while I waited, I did what any good boyfriend would do:  I thought up stupid shirts for him/us.

He needs to smile.

First, we have the “bALLer” shirt.  Yes, he’s survived ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) once, ladies and gentlemen.  He can surely do it again.  The beauty of this shirt is that there are actually different kinds of ALL (yeah, I didn’t know, either).  T-cell, B-cell, blah blah.  He happens to have the “b” kind.  which makes bALLer even more appropriate.  :-P

Because you know he’ll give people dirty looks if they ever look at him and think he’s “weak”:

I seriously want to make one of these shirts for MYSELF.  Just because blood cancers are pretty serious…doesn’t mean you can’t get a little gangsta with ‘em.  Wouldn’t wear this in certain parts of LA, though.  The cancer may not kill you, but the Crips will.

And who doesn’t like Star Wars?  This is what Darth Vader should have said:

And maybe for the impatient inpatient who wants to make use of the cancer card to get off:

Or for the lucky ALLer who gets a Hickman line for their chemo:

Please, people.  Support your local cancer patients just as you support your local businesses.

It’s amazing how much cancer treatment costs, right?  And for what?  To just make you sicker?  People staring at your frail, gross post-chemo body?

Aren’t you sick of all those stupid colored ribbons for cancer awareness?  *I* can’t even keep up with them anymore.  I’m annoyed with pink, because the tit cancer ppl get all of the attention.  I think Hodgkin’s is purple.  Or violet.  Or whatever.  Leukemia is orange?  It’s just too much — I just say combine them all.

OKay, this one is totaly stupid (as if the others aren’t) but I felt the need to include it anyway:

And yeah, I get a ton of jokes about being in a relationship with another person affected by cancer.  “Hey heh, heh did you guys give each other cancer?  Heh, heh.”  Yeah, funny guys.  Haven’t heard THAT one before.  But instead of getting annoyed… why not just embrace it?

Blood Cancers UNITE!

Or the ever so clever:

That one’s his (obviously).  This one’s mine:

Or because we somehow always make things into some kind of competition/rivalry:

And if he chose to wear something like that, then I’d make him wear something like this.  Because nobody disses the HODGE and gets away with it:

I think I’m going to make a t-shirt like this for my friend Kristin, who just got an allo transplant done, like, yesterday:

And this is definitely what *I’D* like to wear on chemo days (Maybe JT will, too?):

And finally, just because the question will inevitably come…so why not just get it out of the way?

Which one should I make for Mr. JT to cheer him up?

And also, come ON, girls!  Is there really NO way to get those disgusting dark marks under the eyes to go away without applying makeup?

I refuse to be called “the dude from Philadelphia”!  ACK!  HELP.  Stupid cancer.