What Would Michael Do?

Oh. My. Effin’. God.  Where to even begin?!

So as a lot of you know, I was in the hospital with pneumonia last week and FINALLY got released a couple of days ago.  Since then I’ve been pretty much taking it easy and trying to entertain myself with anything that I can do from my bed.  *raises eyebrow*  Haha.

But anyway, as you guys can imagine, I’ve been bored out of my mind!  So when a friend sent me a quick e-mail from her blackberry after leaving the Mansion of Terror over in Round Rock saying that it was the BEST haunted house she’s ever been to, I just HAD to go see for myself. 

I’m pretty stupid, right?  I know, a lot of you are pissed that I even left my bed.  You’ll probably be furious by the time I finish this blog entry, but let me just say that it was all TOTALLY worth it.

I had to BEG Clarissa, Julie, Jared, and Sarah to quickly get ready and join me.  This was probably the worst idea ever — inviting 3 girls when there would only be 2 guys.  I have the scratches all over my sides/shoulders/stomach to prove it. 

We were a skeptical bunch, but we trekked out to Round Rock anyway.  See, I’ve been told that something is truly frightening before, but usually after checking it out, I end up disappointed.  While Clarissa, Julie, and I were at Harvard a few years back, we took the train to Salem, MA on Halloween because we were told that it was INSANE and that it was THE THING to do if you were out on the east coast.  We entered three haunted houses there with our friends.  The girls screamed like they always do but I laughed the entire way through.  We even took this hike out into the woods in the dark where the witch hunts supposedly took place.  Meh.  I was more scared that a snake would bite me or something.

Last year, I went to the House of Torment and it was alright but still, nothing really all that scary.  Maybe it was because it wasn’t Halloween-ish time yet.  I was in Boston all of that week watching my Red Sox in the World Series!  Okay, I digress.  I don’t even want to talk about the Red Sox right now.  It hurts too much.  :-)

As soon as we got to the Mansion of Terror, this crazy clown guy with a chainsaw came after us.  We hadn’t even bought mother fuckin’ tickets yet!  The girls ran all the way back to the car, screaming at me to open the door, while the guy only got closer.  I, of course, fumbled around with my keys but made absolutely no attempt to open it.  It was TOO fun watching them freak the hell out.  I immediately thought, hmmm… this is interesting.  They just might be right about this place.

So we buy tix and I put my mask on to cover my nose and mouth while entering to protect myself from germs.  I know, you guys are giving me this face: :-|.  I KNOW I shouldn’t have been out of bed, but PLEASE, you have no idea what it’s like being stuck at home all the damn time, ESPECIALLY after spending a week in the hospital!  I’m happy that it’s getting colder because that means I get to wear different kinds of hats that kind of hide the fact that I’m all bald and pathetic these days.  

HOLY SHIT!  I don’t want to give anything away.  I’d rather you all go and see for yourself.  SERIOUSLY.  But let’s just say that if I ever hear the words “Blood Frenzy” and “Slaughter Circus” again, I’ll probably shudder or cringe with fear.  I would have NEVER guessed that it was going to look so REAL.  It’s as if you immediately enter a different world, a Hell, and you completely forget that these people aren’t actually monsters and crazies and they won’t ACTUALLY harm you.  With every step I took, I sort of mentally slapped myself to try to remember that this was all fake, but I just could not do it.  The girls weren’t making it any easier!  They were grabbing on to me, scratching me, and making me go deaf with their screams.  Although there were some actors in there that actually screamed louder and made everything that much more frightening.  Oh God, I think I’m traumatized.

The whole setup was amazing, the actors involved were SO good, and I actually feel like they got gypped out of more money because I probably could have paid $50+ and still have been completely satisfied.  

By the time I made it out of both attractions, I HAD to take a time out and catch my breath.  My lungs still aren’t 100% and I was feeling like I was about to pass out after.  I actually screamed like a girl.  I feel so gay.  I *am* gay, but now I *feel* it.  :-)

So cancer may be pretty shitty, but at least I have Ativan at my disposal.  I took one after to calm down.  *smiles*  How great is THAT?

So if I had a million hands, I’d give it a million thumbs up.  But since I only have two, well two should suffice.  All you Austinites should think about heading out there.  I’m serious — you will NOT be disappointed. 

The website:  www.mansionofterror.com

I’m already talking my sisters into going and taking their friends.  Aaaand I may just go back there to watch.  That’s if I can do some more recovering.  

*grabs chest*  owwwwwww.

SO much fun, you guys.  Definitely one of those nights my friends and I will be talking about all year long.

I promise I’ll take better care of myself now. :D