On being immature. And Cancerland.
I’m a bit sick tonight, so my mom took it upon herself to drive over here and demand that she stay with me. You know, to make sure that I’ll be okay.
I’m 28 years old, dammit! I can take care of myself! :-) You know, I get frustrated that my parents treat me like I’m a child sometimes, but honestly, I’ve noticed that I’ve become so much more immature since I got diagnosed, so maybe they’re only treating me like a child because I’m acting like one.
For example: I’m stubborn as hell! I made the mistake of telling one of my sisters that I was working on a bit of a fever. Of course my mom calls me within minutes, asking what it is and telling me that she’s coming over, blah blah blah. This ANNOYS me for some reason so I quickly jumped into the shower and turned on the cold water so that when she got here, my temperature would hopefully be below 100 and she wouldn’t call the doctor on me. It was still above 100F so she threatened to call…and I threw a huge tantrum! Arms flailing about and everything. It reminded me of the times they had trouble giving me medication as a kid. Every time they’d try to give me cough medicine, I would take it in my mouth and then spit it right back out. They wanted to murder me — I could see it in their eyes — but thankfully my parents weren’t much into corporal punishment. Buuut I’m sure I still got spanked a few times for that anyway.
Also, while my mom was looking in the medicine cabinet for something a bit ago, I moved over to her, lifted my shoe, and gently pushed on the back her knees, making them buckle. DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT? I hate it. And yet here I was acting like a little kid. She’s already in the guest room trying to sleep because I annoyed her.
I think it’s because I have way too much time on my hands. Stupid cancer, forcing me to leave school and work. Seriously, I don’t know what to do with myself. I already watch every TV show worth watching (and every show that’s not worth watching.) I spent hundreds of dollars a week on books the first couple of months but found that 1) the nausea makes it hard to read a lot of the time 2) i started off with smart, good books and somehow spiraled downward to Twilight (my guilty pleasure) and I was eyeing those old Ramona Quimby books so I thought it best to stop and 3) I don’t have enough income coming in to support my addiction to books. While I’m currently reading Sarah Vowell’s new book (The Wordy Shipmates) with a friend, I don’t think I’ll pick up another book until all of this is over. My friends and family are busy with school or work and rarely have time for me. Too bad, so sad, right? :-P Aaaand I’m just the kind of person that has to be doing or thinking something!
They say that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop, right? Well, I’m living proof. I sit around all day thinking up ridiculous shit and planning/scheming. How immature is that?
The other day I was sitting at Kerbey Lane, this restaurant that’s open 24 hours here in Austin, and I was throwing spitballs at a friend I noticed sitting two booths down.
To annoy another friend of mine, I licked my index and middle fingers and and rubbed them on the lenses of her glasses. GASP! I KNOW. All you glasses wearers want to light up your torches and hunt me down. Calm down, four eyes.
See? I did it again. I can’t stop! I swear I wasn’t like this before cancer. Well, a little.
Earlier this morning, I tried to sign JT up on e-harmony. I DON’T KNOW WHY! I thought it up and once I had some of the details worked out in my head, I couldn’t stop myself. There I was, sitting at my computer, laughing my ass off as I tried to answer the questions like he would.
Would you say that you are attractive?
STRONGLY AGREE
hahahaha I seriously went through 6 pages of that crap before I noticed that they were going to ask like 20 pages worth of questions. I didn’t have the patience for that. Besides, he would’ve punched me in the face had I actually completed it.
I got an e-mail today from a friend of mine who wanted to go to San Antonio this weekend to hit up Fiesta Texas (for those of you not from Texas, it’s a Six Flags theme park.) Every October, they have “Fright Fest.” It’s cool. I like theme parks. BUT I CAN’T GO TO ONE RIGHT NOW! Yeah fucking right, I can’t even walk to my car without getting a little tired. I was annoyed. Mostly at myself because I’m physically unable to do the things that I want to do.
I want to go to Fiesta Texas, dammit! I wish I didn’t feel sick.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a Cancerland somewhere? A resort / theme park for cancer patients? I can see it now…
A lazy river that goes around the park in a temperature-controlled atmosphere and with only the purest of water.
You can try your luck at a basketball shooting game, only the rim would be about a foot away, because let’s face it, none of us have the strength to shoot a basketball a normal distance. And we’d win cool prizes, like, like… insurance coverage for another year. Keep the fucking stuffed animal — give me something I could REALLY use.
I could also do without the cartoon characters. But how about some hot nurses and candy stripers walking around? I just want to go up to them and be like,Damn girl, you can access my port ANY time.
How about one of those mist things that would spray the med of your choice?
Imagine that. Now imagine that spraying Dilaudid. HELLZ yeah.
All kinds of candy that make your tongue turn cool colors (apologies to those with tongue cancer :-/…we’ll have body paints for you.) Or maybe things that make you pee awesome colors. Just not Adriamycin (Doxorubicin) devil red. You Hodgkin’s kids know what I’m talking about.
Motorized scooters/wheelchairs for everyone so you won’t have to walk anywhere. And I want a horn on mine that busts out with “La Cucaracha” every time I honk.
Ferris wheels where you can take naps and get your nausea med of choice administered to you.
And since it’s safety first, we’ll have hand sanitizer and soap dispensers everywhere!! But they’ll be cool. Like this.
I mean seriously, what’s Cancerland without a Hoff cum..err…soap dispenser? *shudders*
And how about a section where they give out nice, sensual massages to anyone who wants one. AND YOU GET A HAPPY ENDING! wink wink
Because don’t we all want happy endings? Isn’t that what we’re striving for?
Shit, I’m already looking for investors.
