What Would Michael Do?

Another blog from Michael. :-/ Sorry guys. And actually, it has nothing to do with insomnia or cats, much to the relief of a lot of you, I assume.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to answer any phone calls that aren’t from my family, my best friends, or my doctors from here on out. I made the mistake of answering my phone a while ago and now I just have a headache and feel very annoyed. Don’t you hate those phone calls when people sound SO concerned? You don’t? Well, I do. A friend of mine from my days in Boston called just to see how I was doing. Sweet, right? Meh. I kind of hate discussing my “condition” with people who can’t really understand. As it is, I’m no girl. If I’m not talking business or speaking to my family or best friends to quickly check in or ask them where we’re going for dinner, I don’t particularly like to chit chat. Not on the phone, anyway. I don’t lay here on my bed curling the phone cord around my finger, giving people my sexy voice as I proceed to tell them about the most insignificant parts of my day.

I bet Lynn does, but I don’t. Note: Something tells me Lynn has this EXACT same outfit. You guys just KNOW he wears it when he thinks no one is watching. ;)

But anyway, it’s not that I don’t think it’s sweet that people would like to reach out and check in with me. I think it has to do with the fact that I know they cannot tell me anything to make me feel better. “Ohhh no! I’m so sorry!” Yeah, fuck that. If you really want to make me feel better, you’d come and let me throw shit at you. Okay, at least come over and talk to me about all other kinds of bullshit. Anything but cancer.

I also hate forwarded texts, but I hate them less than actual phone calls.

I’ve gotten three of those forwards so far today:

“Fwd: Mexican Word of The Day: Cheese
My ruca wanted me to get her pregnant pero cheese crazy!”

“Fwd: Mexican Word of The Day: Texas
My ruca always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at”

and

“Fwd: The wolf told Little Red Riding Hood, “bitch suck my dick.” She said, “fucker don’t change the story! U’re suppose 2 eat me!!”

You’re probably wondering what kinds of friends I have. I won’t lie, I was wondering the same thing.

Anyway, end of rant. Despite having to deal with some bone pain and nausea, I’ve been doing pretty well this week after my chemo. I will have my first scan since I’ve started chemo in a few days so I’m slightly nervous about that but other than that, I can’t really complain about my life right now. I’m spending tons of time with family, I’m surrounded by my best of friends who know how to make me smile and laugh, and… :-) More on that “and” some other time.

OH do you guys want to see something truly heartbreaking? No? okay, let me show you anyway:

Isn’t that SAD?! I mean seriously, kid, at least connect my neck to my shoulders! What a terrible drawing. No, I’m joking. Isn’t it heartbreaking that my little nephew could draw this? I hate that my cancer has affected him. My sister showed me the drawing and asked me if I could have another little talk with him, which I did.

But I have the following things to say about his drawing:

1) I never say “no” to that kid! I spent hours on the floor, building things with Legos with him. I took him and his sister out for pizza and ice cream the other day, even though I couldn’t really have any. I spent hours outside with him in the hot Texas sun showing him how to throw a football when I was feeling faint. I do this so that he can see that I’m okay and that I’m not dying, which apparently he thought when we first talked about my cancer.

2) My legs are NOT that fat!

3) I like the way he put a smile on me at first but then decided to erase it and change it to a frown. HAHA!

4) I’m going to try to ignore the fact that it looks like he drew a vagina on me. With pubes and everything. Does he not understand that even if I did have a vagina, it’d be hairless? This discussion ends right now. Let’s not and say we didn’t.

5) Do you think a gay man would seriously wear such an oversized tee?

6) Did he draw hideous boots on me? I’m gay, not a lesbian. (That one’s for you, Meghan! or at least I think that’s your name…I saw that on your profile, ihaveWHAT)

7) I, apparently, have freakishly long hands. but you know what they say about a man with big hands, right?

ha ha ha.

I’m just kidding. I make jokes to cover up the fact that what REALLY bothers me about this drawing is that he drew a sad face on himself. That’s what really hurts.